Friday, February 16, 2007

Anwesha's laws for persons traveling in the ladies' compartments in local trains

Law#1: Persons who will get off at station: #1, #2 and #3 from the point of departure must not occupy seats. They must exhibit magnanimity by offering their seat to long distance travelers.

Law#2: No one standing is allowed to book a seat by telling the person sitting in the nearest seat that she will occupy the seat when the seated person gets off the train. Believe in your destiny. If you are standing in front of a seat, play the waiting game and wait for the seated person to get up on her own accord.

Law#3: Women in the ladies compartment are not allowed to talk to each other. It has been observed by independent sources, that meaningless banter is the primary reason for fist fights, foul mouthing and hair pulling sessions in trains. It has also been observed that most of the arguments are because of seats and always take place between persons who are not seated.

Law#4: In the event that two persons are found fighting for a seat, the seat will go to the person who makes them quiet. The law licenses such arbitrator to use violence if necessary to make them quiet

Law#5: Any vendor trying to sell clothes or fancy items such as hair clips or broaches will not be allowed to do so. Women tend to get excited over nothing. They spend hours discussing the merits of the item and then resolve not to buy it, thereby wasting time and patience (of the vendor) However, vendors selling food are welcome with open arms and must give special discounts to regular customers

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Shah Rukh Rocks!

The curious thing about being Shah Rukh Khan is that the character he plays always slips into his skin. Raj Malhotra in DDLJ was acting as Shah Rukh Khan, so was Veer in Veer Zaara and Raj again in Kuch Kuch Hota Hain, and the injured footballer in a forgettable movie my memory has bidden Alvida to. When Don was bombing the place, in his mind he knew that he was only pretending to be Shah Rukh Khan and when a ghost in a deserted drinking place in Rajasthan pretended to be a living trader who was pretending to be SRK, he had his comeuppance!So what happens when SRK tries to act as SRK in KBC? While we juggle with acronyms, he gives away his wrist watch to a participant who was winning 3.2 lakhs and gave a wrong answer to slip to twenty thousand. His uncanny ability to dole largesse is not confined to green backs alone, he hugs men and women in the hot seat again and again kyoonki "main logon ko bahut pasand karta hoon" The shrill scream of delight when he phones a friend is real and he revels in it.KBC is fast becoming the show that actors are trying to host to reaffirm their popularity with the masses. Amitabh Bachchan's fading career zoomed into the stratosphere with KBC and Shah Rukh who needs a hit badly has realized that selling laptops and washing machines may not give him the boost he requires. Hence KBC. Under the pretense of exposing IQs the Baadshah upthrones the Shahenshah. Skeptics who had written off King Khan will eat their words. SRK is finally acting himself and what's more he is doing a good copy of Amitabh Bachchan!If the 70's generation is alarmed at the idea of the little guy trying to fit into the shoes of the Big B, they forget that SRK is an acquired taste. He grows on you till you learn that you have no choice but to accept him. He is everywhere. Greeting Ladies and girls and aunties and gentlemen and boys and uncles SRK is an epitome of chutzpah. The panache with which he wears a denim blue suit with tomato red stripes over an equally colourful shirt and beckons you from a billboard is breathtaking. Black satin tie over bare neck and a white shirt unbuttoned for as long you can see and a blazer over it - no one can carry it off like SRK.Watching SRK is fun. Like the way he pretends that his wife is calling him back home when the hooter blows at the end of the show, or his "Freeze It' call. The nicknames he uses for the contestants and the completely unfazed look on his face when he reads a question he clearly has no idea about. SRK is taking over the game in a way AB never did. Even though AB was the chief attraction of the show, he never let himself grow bigger than the game itself! With SRK it seems, things are about to change! It’s less about knowing the answer now and more about being feted by Shah Rukh in the hot seat, rolling with laughter with his gimmicks and getting hugged by him and telling him how much we love him. The quiet dignity of show is suddenly gone and with the infusion of young blood KBC's character suddenly resembles a day in office when the boss is away.The last word will rest with my father. A diehard SRK allergic, I was astonished after one particular episode of KBC. Dad just said "O Paarbe!"



It took me long, but here I got to a hundred posts earlier than Sachin got to his hundred one day centuries!


Me feels like celebrating!