Dedicated to the memory of those who died waiting for the codebase to freeze...
Long time ago, once in my life
When I was unallocated,
I used to lament the lack of work
I was sincere and dedicated.
I used to hope for bugs to fix,
Miles of code to write.
I prayed that someone would notice
But alas! I was denied.
Then one day, they heard my prayers
And the jailor called my name.
Put her in iPub, they need bravehearts there
That prison has earned some fame.
I jumped right in without a thought
Coz where angels fear to tread.
Fools rush in to write TDs,
And FDs tracked in red.
We missed deadlines and ate pizza,
By swimming pools and shopping malls,
We watched blue screens with bated breadth
As boolean logic turned from true to false.
I laboured by the front end then
And by the back end did I toil,
I tried to find a route of escape
By burning midnight oil.
Some dug hard and found the tunnel
And escaped to down under,
Some broke fences and crossed the seas
While we watched in wonder.
The warden frowned on parole day,
"You must be back by COB
There are bugs in your code which need to go,
After all, its your baby!"
I tuned the query and swept the code
At corners you would not know
In vain I lowered the defect count,
The bugs! they would not go.
Now, I know the end is near
For I sigh and cough and wheeze
I lay in waste, unallocated still,
Waiting for the codebase to freeze.