I have my pet set of resolutions that I have been making for the past as-old-as-I-am minus eight years. This New Year, my newest resolution is to get rid of them. And what better way to do it than post it out here for the world to read and ridicule. So watch out for here I come:
- Topping the list every year is my intention to look like Kate Moss by December 31st, so that I can get into that skimpy little top I purchased in a moment of optimism, but never was able to fit into. I promise to give the ‘roshogolla’ a miss, look the other way when ‘gulab jamuns’ are served and say a big NO to Cadbury’s Perk with extra crunch. I promise to wake up at five every morning and spend an hour in fruitful exercise. When I find myself weighing five kilograms more every December, I hang my head in shame promising to make amends the following year. Not any more, from now onwards, I shall not watch my weight, my weight shall watch me.
- Coming a close second is resolving the eternal fight between my ego and my id. My ego is of the opinion that unless a girl is always on her toes, she will turn into somebody’s girl friend by December 31st.
So, my ego says that ‘thou shall strive to survive another year from the onslaught of potential boy friends’
My id is a little lazy. By June sufficiently aroused, my id makes fun of my ego ‘Thou shall succeed in restraining thyself only when a potential boyfriend appears on the scene’.
Ego: Refer to Resolution #1
Id: You think men are going to keep running behind you as soon as you lose weight????
Ego: Haven't you heard of Bridget Jones ?
Id: Let’s challenge you to drop your guard for a month and see if it wins you the attention of anybody.
The argument continues. Well, I don’t know who wins but fact is that status quo is maintained on 31st December year after year after year. So why keep fighting?
- And this is the one that I would hate to give up. Will I finally succumb to the lure of hair colour? Splurged all over magazines, television and bill-boards, Aishwarya Rai, Kareena Kapoor and Andie McDowell urge you to get rid of that ‘boring black hair’ and give copper, burgundy and purple a try. When I see my friends coloring their hair blonde the temptation is almost irresistible. This year I refuse to think about it anymore. Surely with earthquakes, train accidents, drought and explosions there are better things a girl could think of than what pigmentation her hair should assume.
- Finally I have started taking guitar classes. Every year I resolve to take Raam Pyaare – my dashing young Spanish guitar a little more seriously. I love the bruises on the fingers of my left hand that are formed by pressing metal strings. They used to be on probation, but they are becoming permanent now. I am, as promised, taking classes and RP is getting his due, so chuck goes the resolution.
- When I started getting pocket money, I promised myself that I would buy a book every month. Sadly, I was too busy spending it on other things. Now that I have finally managed keep my promise, the publishing industry must be silently blessing me, my Mother must be silently praying that a little more space may miraculously appear in the cupboard for the books and my friends who want to borrow from me must be silently praying that I read faster.
So what will 2006 hold for me, my friends, for the people I have never met and for the world that is ravaged by disaster and destruction? Only time will tell. But if I were to make a sincere resolution it would be that we learn to love one another and live in peaceful harmony.